The two intrepid reporters approached the Dáil, hoping to have some serious questions answered, armed with a camera and a butt plug, just in case.
A big lorry came and parked outside the Dáil in an act of protest about toxic banks. Reporters were later to be seen spinning the story that it had tried to crash through the gates. Later still, politicians were defecating the same thing. We had enough. We produced the butt plug. The politicians seemed to like it.
Not all of us are willing to take it in the arse for the banks.
Madam K
The lorry didn’t try to ram through the gates. If it had, it would have succeeded. The gardaí sprang into action by breaking the back and side windows. The gentleman, who’d immobilised the vehicle, was arrested and taken away. We hope he’s safe and sound and we wish to extend our congratulations to him. The gardaí stood around scratching their heads through their hats. Nobody it seems, considered the possibility that the truck might explode at any second. A very good thing it didn’t, as the bodycount would have been high, due to lots of good folks travelling to work and others stopping up to see what was going on.
A tow truck eventually arrived. There have been many things said about the lorry having slowed or stopped traffic, this was far from the truth, it was the tow truck that hindered traffic. The lorry was winched up and dragged away nearly two hours later.
The politicians started to arrive. We really wanted to question them about their ideas on our debt crisis, NAMA and other things. We’d discussed our approach a number of times and had decided to bring along a butt plug in the event that the politicians decided to be anal. They decided to be anal, just like we really knew they would. They didn’t disappoint us.
When asked questions about how the deficit was going to be plugged or if the people of Ireland felt that they were taking it up the arse for the banks, the politicians almost eat the butt plug, in their hurry to promote themselves and the shite they were expelling. Most of the reporters around spotted the butt plug and were caking themselves laughing. Except one RTE reporter who exclaimed loudly about the “dildo.” You’d think if anyone could tell the difference between a dildo and a butt plug, it’d be RTE!
The Dáil was a hive of activity. Lots of old friends about and some new. I spotted the patient Peter Preston beside the gates. As ever he was sticking it to the politicians and they had nothing to say about it, as usual. Some of the more media desperate TDs elbowed their way into posing for the cameras with some schoolkids who’d come to deliver material on behalf of Amnesty International, to Mary Harney, who was nowhere to be seen. The unemployed, the employed, victims of the HSE, anti-fox hunting representatives and many anti-NAMA folks all turned up.
Despite everything, the crisis that is the government continues. The banks will be taken care of. The sick and the dying can wait for nothing. We can all like it or shut up. And all the saps at the Dáil have to show for themselves is their willingness to talk shite into a butt plug.
The Toxic Bank Lorry
Busted Windows
Cleaning up the broken glass
Spout shit in the presence of Madam K at your peril
Okay lads, remember, don't talk shite
Warned ye!
You know you want it!
The Wand of Truth
This is what all the bullshit's about
In the next installment we think bigger!
Madam K’s Youtube Channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/madamk
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